1L Lookbook

 
​     I came to law school in a psychodynamic state of mind. As an undergraduate psychology major and self-identifying Jungian, I wanted to use law school as a training ground for me to improve my confidence, my writing, and my social skills. I figured I could coast along in academia for a while until I figured out what I actually wanted to do with my life, and maybe that ideal career would indeed involve practicing law. After all, my mother is a Trusts and Estates lawyer who started her own boutique law firm in North Jersey, and that turned out pretty well for her and the clients who rely on her. I figured it would be a safe option to follow in her tried and true footsteps to figure out whether law was some sort of generational gift that she had passed down to me, and if not, I could figure out some other path during my time at school. 
     

​​     Right from the start of my 1L year, the confusion of navigating legal quagmires thrusted me into depression. This deep melancholy stemmed from a sudden, jarring sense of incompetence that I now imagine most 1Ls are forced to confront during their transition into the legal world. The skills that got me in the mahogany halls of law school, I realized, were rudimentary for the functions they needed to complete, and only through the trial-by-fire nature of a classroom did those skills (slowly) begin to sharpen. Throughout the challenging experience, I found that periods of concentrated reflection allowed me to come up for air and keep the bigger picture in mind, revealing to me through various mediums how exactly I was feeling, growing, and becoming a professional with distinct values and goals. The insights I gained from reflection helped ground me as I began to grapple with the inherent difficulties of law. I wrote many passages in my journal throughout the first year that will stick with me for a long time, but my favorite first year reflections are the series of paintings I created that note, through expression on canvas, the changes of my cognitive processes over time. 

     Law school turned out to be the blessing that I did not know that I needed, and one that I was sometimes reluctant to accept. It has been hard, of course, really really hard. The cold calls, the dumbfounding waves of confusion, the countless blunders, they fester and linger as forces that have torn me down time and time again throughout the adventure of my 1L year. Not only do the simulated conditions within the school grounds present immense difficulties, but also the conditions of life outside the wrought iron gates of GW Law’s quad. Life doesn’t wait for lawyers to catch up on their emails, no, life can flare up with issues at the drop of a hat. But life is life, and life is unavoidable, and so lawyers must do their best under the circumstances to put up one hell of a fight for their client. They must use their power for good, and through it all, they must remain humble and hardworking. At least this is what I tell myself when I have trouble remembering what the point of it all is. 

​     The moments that make it all worth it, where components that felt impossible to grasp start to click into place, propel me closer towards a fulfilling professional life. The people that I've met, the realization that I have power to make positive changes, and the resilience that I've begun to build inspire me to keep moving forward, even as I face how much left I have yet to learn. The more I venture deeper into doctrine, the more convinced I become of the necessity to ingrain psychology to my application of the law. Psychology, which underscores much of my process, aids in my ability to persuade and use my voice to impact the world around me. Synthesizing a legal framework with my existing perspective will help me craft ideas that can benefit the greater good. I am excited to continue this pursuit while working towards my Juris Doctor, and far beyond.
     I leave my first year of law school with loose ends. I’m excited to see how each string ties together, and I imagine the quilt that I will ultimately create to be unexpected, but hopefully beautiful, too.